i need to go... like seriously

i really hate to say this, but i really think it's time for me to go. This isn't nice to say, but i really am starting to hate the place where i'm working. People always say, "your office so slack!". Well, fuck you all. I dunno whether it's the time of the month or not, but my boss is seriously suffering from a heavy dosage of PMS( in case any retards don't know what PMS is, it stands for Post Menstrual Symptoms).

Hokkien calls it "lai ang"

Okay thats besides the point. The main point of this entry is for me to just spew out all the shit that i've been keeping to myself. First of all, my grandmother. It may seem long ago, since her passing on, but frankly speaking, i have not really got over it yet. At times, where ever and whenever, i'll just suddenly think of her. I really miss my grandmother a lot.

Then come to my work, okay it seems simple and easy, but not when you are being taken advantage off and even has to stand at the front line to shield everything. . I hate the fact that i get shit when i'm not the one who produced that pile of shit/s. I hate the fact that when i do everything and am not recognized for it, instead the recognition goes towards the rest. I hate the fact that i'm the "bad guy" who does nothing, when i think i'm covering the most.

Then, there's this problem with a girl. I just feel that it's really really hopeless if i choose to go on and try it out, so i shall just sit back and let it pass by me. I know i'm going to regret it, but i think this regret will be well worthed it.

Everything is meaningless to me right now. i'm numbed.

-Joei

lessons and more lessons to be learnt

I just saw this video clip, signs. Where it's about this guy who has a crush on some stranger who coincidentally works at the office building next to his. Well, before this, his life was a bore with the same routine everyday. Anyway, they started exchanging signs in the form of a paper with huge words on it. This went on for a few days until 1 day he wanted to pop the question "do you want to meet up?". However, he hesitated and did not do it. The next day, he finally got the courage and put up the sign, unfortunately, he was greeted by emptiness. It seems like someone has taken over her work space. His life "sorta" crumbled after that. The next day though, the lady caught his attention by reflecting the sun rays onto him, and she wrote that she got a promotion. after a few more exchange of signs, he finally popped the question, do you want to meet up?. She had a very simple answer, "thought you'ed never asked"

Well, the story ends with him meeting her at last.

A very cliche story, but i still liked it nonetheless.

This video kinda reflects what i'm doing now. I know things should be done quickly without hesitation, or there might be regrets later on.

But i still can't bring myself to do it, i have no confidence still. i told myself, i'll make the move next time, but i'll never ever do that, and i know it.

It's stupid and i jolly admit this.

There are too many differences i guess.

-Joei