I feel real lousy. I just can't seem to let go, always get caught between my feelings and consciences
I don't know whether what i'm doing or what i'm going to do is right or wrong. HELL, i can't even differentiate right from wrong now.
I've waited for this for a long time, but i have this sudden nervous breakdown. I know i won;t be able to do it, but i just love to force myself for god knows why.
The thoughts of failure seem to plague me like some "T-Virus" or something along the same line. It never fails to make me "stone" and think about all these and other ways to escape this.
I just want to concentrate on something, just that one thing.
i need to.......
-Joei
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