Monday, February 16, 2009

it's getting kinda fun

Blogging is getting kinda fun now, and I don't know why......

There are times you look back at your past, be it with your friends or loved ones, and you will tell yourself "Been there, done that =)". Well, for me, it's different. I would always look back and tell myself that "why on earth did i do it?", even though most of the times, these things are good. I can never figure out myself. There are too many mysteries about myself which i'm afraid to find out. i've always wondered how i would be like when i finally cannot tolerate something and i "explode" with madness. I often shiver at the thought because i know things will happen, bad things. People around me would always say i'm more of the soft-spoken type, who has no temper/tantrum. However, the reason for this, i think it's because i have never showed any before, in my entire life, and i intend to keep it that way, but i wonder for how long. Frankly speaking, my resentment towards the place that i'm at now, is increasing by the day. I used to love this place, but due to many things that has happened in the past few months, i realized i do not belong to this place anymore. The people are nice, just that, i cannot bring myself to be a part of it, because i know everything will disappear in the end, and i want to be detached from that feeling, thus having this resentment most of the times.

Looking at the bright side, it's going to be over soon. True, i will miss everybody, but i will never miss the place, i know myself thus far.

Everything and everybody change, for the better or worse, it differs from everybody, but for me, it's all the same, unless i have the feeling of hurt and lost of trust.

That i will not say anything, but to slowly let go of you.

There's never happiness in anything forced.

-Joei

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